Christmas Comes But Twice a Year
by Carbuncle
Summary: Cloud suffers a blow to the head, sending him into a deep coma. Upon awakening, he learns that he has completely missed out on Christmas.


FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
Christmas Comes But Twice a Year  
  
(Open to the Sector 7 Slums. The buildings have been decorated with Christmas decorations. Cloud, Tifa and Aeris are decorating 7th Heaven. Tifa is putting a wreath on the door and Aeris is wrapping some fairy lights around the balcony. Cloud is standing up on the roof, trying to put up a plastic Santa Claus.)  
Cloud: Come on, ya stupid Santa!  
Tifa: Are you okay up there, Cloud?  
Cloud: I'm fine!  
Aeris: Okay, that's the last of the fairy lights.  
Tifa: (steps back) Nice job, Aeris.  
Aeris: Thanks. Your wreath's a little crooked though, isn't it? (Tifa frowns)  
Cloud: (to the Santa) Stop toying with me! Ugh!  
Tifa: Cloud? Is everything all right?  
Cloud: Yes!  
Tifa: If you're having trouble then I'm sure Barrett could put it up later.  
Cloud: (struggling) Honestly, Tifa, it's no big deal! I can do this! (starts wobbling back and forth) Whoa!  
Tifa: Cloud!  
Cloud: Whoa! (falls backwards off the roof) Waaa!!!! (lands with a thud)  
Aeris: Oh, my goodness! Cloud! (she and Tifa run over to him)  
Tifa: (takes Cloud's hand) Cloud?! Speak to us! Cloud!  
  
(Cut to the Sector 2 Slums, Midgar General Hospital, Cloud's room. Cloud is laying in bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines. Tifa, Aeris and Barrett are standing there with Dr. Imanidiot and Nurse Lady.)  
Tifa: Well, doctor, what's the diagnosis?  
Dr. Imanidiot: Your friend has suffered a rather large blow to the head, Ms. Tifa. His condition is... uh, coma.  
Tifa: Cloud's in a coma?!  
Barrett: Aw, man...  
Aeris: But he will get better, right?!  
Dr. Imanidiot: It's possible, but... it may take some time. The average patient takes months, even years, to recover from a coma. Though taking Cloud's previous medical background into account, things do look surprisingly good for him, seeing as how he's survived mako poisoning, food poisoning and accidental amputations.  
Tifa: You're saying he may miss out on Christmas?  
Dr. Imanidiot: If he's lucky he'll regain consciousness by then, but it looks unlikely at this stage, seeing as how it's only two days until the big day.  
Tifa: Eugh...  
Dr. Imanidiot: Well, I'd love to stay and chat some more about your friend's health, but I have a party to go to. Come, Nurse Lady. (he and Nurse Lady leave)  
Tifa: (puts her hand on Cloud's head and strokes his hair) Oh, Cloud...  
  
(Cut to Cloud's subconscious. Cloud is running around a field, dancing and laughing. Butterflies swoop around in the sky above him. Sephiroth flies down from the sky and lands in front of him.)  
Sephiroth: Hello, Cloud!  
Cloud: (stops dancing) Sephiroth!  
Sephiroth: You remember me, then?  
Cloud: How could I forget you?! (draws his sword) Engarde!  
Sephiroth: What on earth are you doing, Cloud?  
Cloud: I'm going to cut you down, Sephiroth!  
Sephiroth: With what? A flower?  
Cloud: (looks at his sword, which has become a flower) Huh?  
Sephiroth: (laughs) How foolish you are, Cloud!  
Cloud: Grrr!  
Sephiroth: Cloud, you misunderstand. You think I am here to fight?  
Cloud: Why else would you be here?  
Sephiroth: I'm here to help you escape this place. I'm here to help you return to your world. To your friends.  
Cloud: Huh?  
Sephiroth: This place, Cloud, it is your subconscious. Think back. You've been here before, haven't you?  
Cloud: Yes... but it was Tifa who helped me regain myself that time. Why would you, an enemy of mine, want to help me? It doesn't make sense.  
Sephiroth: Believe me, Cloud, nothing makes sense here. (holds out his hand) Come.  
Cloud: Where are we going?  
Sephiroth: To the Valley of Consciousness.  
Cloud: The where?  
Sephiroth: You'll see. Now, come. Take my hand. (Cloud takes his hand and they both fly off into the sky)  
  
(Cut to Midgar General Hospital, Cloud's room. Tifa is sitting by Cloud's bed. Cid and Vincent walk in.)  
Tifa: Cid. Vincent.  
Cid: Hi, Tifa. How is he?  
Tifa: No change.  
Cid: I see...  
Vincent: (puts his hand on Tifa's shoulder) Do not despair, Tifa. For there is a light at the end of every tunnel.  
Cid: Yeah, and if the worst comes to the worst, and he doesn't get better, well, at least he led a... moderately good life.  
  
(Cut to the Valley of Consciousness. Cloud and Sephiroth land in between the clifftops.)  
Cloud: What is this place?  
Sephiroth: This is the Valley of Consciousness.  
Cloud: Neat.  
Sephiroth: If we follow the canyon path up the mountains, we should eventually reach the Waterfall of Enlightenment... or something.  
Cloud: ...and?  
Sephiroth: Don't you see, Cloud. The waterfall is your key to getting back to reality.  
Cloud: I don't remember anything about a waterfall. Last time Tifa just had to get my memory back together. We didn't need to do any of this crap before. It doesn't make sense.  
Sephiroth: Cloud, please, what did I say to you earlier? Nothing makes sense here. (Sora, Donald Duck and Goofy (from Kingdom Hearts) walk past in the background)  
  
(Cut to Midgar General Hospital, Cloud's room. Tifa is putting some flowers in a vase on the table next to Cloud's bed. Red XIII, Cait Sith and Yuffie walk in.)  
Red XIII: Tifa! Tifa! We did it!  
Tifa: Did what?  
Red XIII: We found out a way how we can bring Cloud out of his coma! Tell her, Cait Sith!  
Cait Sith: Well, Tifa, it's simple really. All we have to do is- (Cloud opens his eyes and wakes up) -oh, never mind.  
Tifa: Cloud!  
Cloud: Ugh... Tifa?  
Tifa: Yuffie, go get the doctor! (Yuffie leaves) Oh, Cloud! I'm so glad you're all right! (hugs him)  
  
(Cut to Cloud's room, a little later. Dr. Imanidiot is there too.)  
Dr. Imanidiot: Yep, he's fine. Looks like you're getting back on the straight and narrow, Cloud. It took you long enough though.  
Tifa: I can't thank you enough for all that you and the staff here at the hospital have done, doctor. You truly are kings among kings.  
Dr. Imanidiot: (confused) Yes, well, I'll let you people have some privacy. Oh, and Happy Easter. (leaves)  
Cloud: Happy Easter?  
Barrett: Uh huh. It's April, man. You'd been in that coma for almost five months.  
Cloud: So... I've missed Christmas?  
Tifa: Cloud, the most important thing is that you're all right.  
Cloud: But... I've missed Christmas?  
Tifa: Well, yes, but-  
Cloud: I... I can't believe it. I missed Christmas. And... And I was so looking forward to it... last year. Oh, God.  
Barrett: Well, ya didn't miss Easter. (hands him a chocolate egg) Here. It's not out of date by that much.  
Cloud: But Easter sucks compared to Christmas. You don't get presents at Easter.  
Aeris: No, but you get chocolate eggs. And you love chocolate.  
Cloud: Not as much as I love Christmas!!!!  
Tifa: Cloud, I-  
Cloud: No! I don't wanna hear it! It's bad enough that I had to rely on Sephiroth for help while I was in that coma-  
Tifa: Huh?  
Cloud: -but to find out that I've completely bypassed Christmas, that just tears it! Everyone, I'd like you all to leave.  
Tifa: Cloud...  
Cloud: JUST GET OUT! EVERYONE, GET OUT!!!!  
  
(Cut to the corridor. Tifa, Aeris and Barrett leave the room.)  
Barrett: Man, he's pretty cut up about missin' Christmas, huh?  
Aeris: Poor guy. You know how much he loves the festive season.  
Barrett: If only there was somethin' we could do for 'im...  
Tifa: That's it! We'll celebrate Christmas early this year!  
Barrett: Whut?  
Tifa: Yeah. We'll decorate the bar for Cloud's home coming, buy him a few presents, have Christmas dinner, parties, crackers, everything.  
Barrett: Isn't that a bit... weird?  
Aeris: A bit? That's an understatement.  
Tifa: Aw, come on. It'll be fun. I mean, sure, the neighbours might start talking about us as if we're all a bunch of loonies, but at least we'll be able to give Cloud that Christmas he didn't get to have. Guys, trust me, this is exactly what Cloud needs.  
  
(Cut to the Sector 7 Slums, 7th Heaven, the basement. Christmas decorations are hanging around the room and a tree has been set up in the corner. Presents have been put underneath it. Cloud, Tifa, Aeris and Barrett are standing there.)  
Cloud: This is exactly what I didn't need. What the hell's going on here? Have you guys lost your marbles?  
Aeris: No. Mine are right here. (holds up a sack of marbles)  
Tifa: We thought it would be nice to give you Christmas early this year, Cloud, seeing as how you missed it last year and all.  
Cloud: ...  
Barrett: Yeah, I said it was weird.  
Cloud: But if we're getting Christmas early, does that mean we're not having it in December?  
Tifa: Of course not. We'll still celebrate it again. It's just now you get two Christmases for the price of one.  
Cloud: But having Christmas now doesn't change the fact that I missed it last year. This is so stupid. There's not even any snow. If you wanted to give me Christmas early, the least you could've done was rent us a cabin at the Icicle Inn. At least that way it would've FELT Christmassy.  
Tifa: So... we did bad? I'm... I'm sorry, Cloud. I shouldn't have bothered.  
Cloud: You should've talked it over with me first, that's what you should've done. (pause) But it was a kind thought. Thanks.  
Tifa: (smiling) Don't mention it.  
  
(Cut to the bar. Cloud, Tifa, Aeris and Barrett are sitting at the table. Christmas dinner is on the table. Each of them has a cracker. Aeris is holding hers.)  
Aeris: Who wants to pull my cracker? Barrett?  
Barrett: Sure, okay. (he grabs the other end of her cracker and pulls as she does, but it explodes and kills Aeris)  
Tifa: That's the last time I ever buy crackers from Explosives R' Us.  
  
(Cut to the basement. Cloud is sitting on the couch, channel surfing.)  
Cloud: Tifa?  
Tifa: (walks in) Yes?  
Cloud: You may've been able to bring December to 7th Heaven, but as far as the TV's concerned, it's still mid-spring. I can't find any Christmas specials.  
Tifa: Well obviously not. It is April, after all.  
Cloud: But one of the best things about Christmas is the festive entertainment that's on offer. Seasonal specials give the holiday that Christmas feeling.  
Tifa: I can hardly control what the TV stations choose to air, Cloud.  
Cloud: I guess not...  
Tifa: (sighs) Stay there. I'll see what I can do. (leaves)  
Cloud: Sweet!  
  
(Cut to the basement, a little later. Cloud is sitting on the couch, watching "A Christmas Carol". Tifa walks in.)  
Cloud: (to the TV) I hate you Scrooge! (to Tifa) Oh, hey, you're back!  
Tifa: Yes, and it looks like I brought Christmas to television, too. But that's the first, and last time, I use my womanly charm to manipulate people this year, Cloud.  
Cloud: Okay, thanks, Tifa. Ooh! The Ghost of Christmas Past! (Tifa smiles)  
  
(Cut to the bar, that night. Cloud and Tifa are sitting at the bar, drinking.)  
Tifa: Well, Cloud, did you enjoy your day?  
Cloud: You know, actually I did. And I have you to thank, Tifa, for being so kind and thoughtful, and for not wanting me to miss out on my favourite time of the year. You're the best friend a person like me could ever hope for.  
Tifa: No problem, Cloud. (Cloud kisses her on the cheek, then backs off)  
Cloud: ...  
Tifa: ...  
Cloud: (leans over and kisses Tifa passionately, then backs off) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened.  
Tifa: No, Cloud, it's okay, I-  
Cloud: (gets up) No, really, that was wrong. I'm sorry, Tifa.  
Tifa: Cloud, please, if you'd just-  
Cloud: No, I have to go, I have to go. Good... Goodnight, Tifa. (walks off upstairs)  
Tifa: But, Cloud... I... I... (closes her eyes)  
  
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THE END__________  
  
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End file.
